A Bum Steer

I have been plagued for some time now by haemorrhoids (have I spelt that correctly? No...ok...PILES then).  This has gone on since last year when I went through all of the stress of redundancy at Shitty Central.  I had been to the doctor last year, a locum with a comedy face.  Rather 'Bo Selecta', I thought.  And Indian to boot.  Tragic, really.  Anyway, I have endured six months worth of Movicol and Anusol, etc, etc.  Went back to quack this afternoon.  He motioned to me - I understood his intentions - that I was to remove trousers and undercrackers immediately whilst he examined the offending pustule.  The prescription?  Fybogel.  If that fails to work, then we will work our way through the various 'pensioner-tastic' remedies on the market until we find one that jolly well works.  Oh joy!!!