- Wake up at around 8am
- Have a precision wash in shower with shower head held at precise angle, thereby missing direct line of gaping chasm in hip.
- Dry myself, then head over the bath to indulge in hair-washing hedonism
- Get in car. Easier said than done. Am about as graceful as Hattie Jacques getting into a Smart Car. Backwards.
- Drive to doctor's
- Wait for nurse to call me in
- Have wound gouged out and re-packed
- Come home, swallow codeine and descend into drug-fuelled slumber
- Watch some shit DVD (currently series 3 of Bergerac)
I am off to see my doctor tomorrow, hopefully he will give me a sick note without the need to have to perform fellatio on him for the privilege. Then my colleague has said that she will visit - with her 3 year old son. Great. Just what I need. That'll fucking perk me up no end. Guess I'm just feeling a bit down at the moment - no one to give me a hug and say 'there, there my dear' (see what I did there?). Actually, am feeling OK, I just popped that line in so that I could enter an 80's song title.....
The weekend will be boring, no doubt. I'll not be indulging in any shopping activity - couldn't be bothered to a) drive and b) walk around with normal clothes on. I am sick of dressing like a pensioner in elasticated waist leisure pants and comfy shoes (although it is very comfy, I have to admit...). What next? Perhaps I will develop a taste for malt loaf, cream crackers and Carnation milk in my tea. Or, even worse. Start buying Werthers Originals.
This whole debacle has made me realise what great friends I have. Also, a little sad (well, kind of) that there is no significant other in my life who would be around when the shit hit the fan. But, that feeling doesn't last terribly long, and I rouse myself into sense again by reminding myself of how bad relationships can be (well, certainly mine are!).
I shall have the rest of this week and next off and hope to get back to work the week after. Wonder what I shall be returning to though.......
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