Thursday, 23 June 2011

Thursday 23rd June 2011

OK, sitting in bed sipping chardonnay, eating Galaxy Counters and wondering if I am sprouting a third leg through my hip...and I thought I would update my blog.  For those of you that remain confused by this bold statement, let me enlighten you.  I have developed a hideous 'cyst-type' thing on my left hip.  I went to see the doctor the other day.  He is a locum GP, what with my usual doc having had his leg amputated (seriously).  He looks as though he has never kissed a girl.  Shirts probably still pressed by his octogenarian mother, dresses like a geography teacher...you know the sort.  He prescribed some antibiotics.  They haven't worked yet.  I am very impatient when it comes to drugs.  I want instant results.  Especially when I pay £7.30 a pop for a prescription.  My work strides have been grazing against the pustule all day.  Horrible pain.
Enough of that, though.  Have been mulling over my future lately and whether to express my interest in redundancy.  I would.  And I fully intend to give my notice of interest when the letter comes through the door early next week (well, that's when they said it would arrive...).  I will aim to embark on a Teaching Assistant's course, may also get a part-time job whilst doing so...who knows?
Went out for tea tonight for colleague's birthday.  Nando's in Durham.  I ended up giving everyone a lift there (although not a lift back).  I paid for a round of drinks and some olives - no fucker else bought anything for me.  Cunts.  Had to pay for my own bait.  Wankers.  Dropped colleague off on the way home and saw a cockerel running across the road on the way out of her street.  But then again, she does live in Houghton, they are a funny lot there, aren't they?  Not the first time I will drive past a cock there, I'll wager.  'Twas most surreal.
One more day of work to endure tomorrow.  However, it is the dreaded '1-2-1' meeting with my manager.  Wonder how painfully she can shaft me up the rectum?  A full report in my next blog.
Am out tomorrow night with my dad's friend.  63 years old and he has the hots for me.  Jeez...how special do I feel?  Still, he's a good conversationalist, changes my oil for nowt (in the car, before anyone starts thinking smutty thoughts) and pays for tea.  I need to save some money this month.  Trying to be frugal and economise.  Jacket potatoes are becoming my staple diet (and Marksies cheesy coleslaw, of course).  Don't think I will be doing much this weekend.  Need time to rest, relax and get rid of this carbuncle on my arse.
I have started reading books again.  Well, a book.  Maybe it is the start of a new way of living for me.  In celebration of this momentous occasion, I have noted my favourite books/publications below.  Whilst some of these may not be defined as 'novels', I nevertheless read them...reading is reading, whatever you read...let's not be snobbish here, eh?

  • 'Tipping The Velvet' by Sarah Waters - a nice Victorian lezza romp.  This one has it all - the theatre, Whitstable oysters and dildos.  A winning combination.
  • 'Collected Poems' by Philip Larkin - potty-mouthed, sex-obsessed university librarian - wonderful
  • 'And I Don't Want to Live This Life' by Deborah Spungen.  Nancy's mother (of Sid and Nancy fame) reveals all.
  • 'Talking Heads' by Alan Bennett.  Witty, Northern humour/sadness aplenty.  With the emphasis very much on sadness.
  • 'Wuthering Heights' by Emily Bronte.  One of the first books I read at college.  Wonderful.  Not enough shagging in it though.  Then again, would you take your knickers off on the moors?
  • Q Magazine - my monthly immersion into the world of music.  However, too much fucking Adele, not enough Depeche Mode/Interpol/Ladytron.
  • 'England's Dreaming' by Jon Savage - the punk bible.  Excellent tome.
  • 'Rotten: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs' by John Lydon - the best book about punk.  Vile bit about Steve Jones wanking into a sandwich then giving it to Glen Matlock to eat (he didn't know that there was daddy batter in his cheese 'n' pickle, by the way...makes it all the more gruesome)
  • 'The Dirt' by Motley Crue - a vile, disgusting, outrageous biography.  I loved it.
  • 'No Mercy' by The Stranglers - again, another great book.  Those boys could drink.
  • 'Take It Like A Man' by Boy George - another page-turner....highly recommended.  Very uncomfortable reading about his descent into smack hell, though.
And so, dear reader, I must bid you goodnight.  My hip is 'putting', I am weary with sleep, and have to telephone screen several Pakistani's in the morning.  Sleep well. xx

 

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