Tuesday 31st May

First day back at Shitty Central following a whole week away.  Actually, it's been a reasonably good day, if I'm honest.  But let's not bore ourselves by talking about work.  Low point of the day?  Amazingly, there wasn't one.  High point of the day?  A Greggs' sausage roll followed by a pork and black pudding patty in the restaurant - OMG....a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!!
OK.  So, last night went to see Take That (why the fuck???) with my good buddy, Madam Verte.  I wanted to rekindle our gigging experience, as we have always been prolific gig-goers.  And, to be honest, I quite fancied seeing Pet Shop Boys.  They were fab.  That was the high point.  Take That took to the stage, and oh boy...what I would have given to be armed with a sock full of hot, wet shit when Robbie took to the stage.  The bloke's ego was bigger than the fucking venue.  I dislike him intensely.  He made a scathing remark about the local females favouring 'pissing in the street when drunk'.  Whilst he may have had a fair point, there was no need to say that in front of 54,000 people. Most of them wimmin!!!  And how did they respond?  Chucking rotten apples?  Plastic pint glasses of piss?  Booing?  No.  They fucking applauded. Seriously. I did not.  Instead, I pursed my lips and cast a steely glare at the stage.  I can imagine that he was petrified, eh?
Madam Verte seemed to have a blast.  I enjoyed some of it, but couldn't get past the fact that one is a pint-sized fanny rat, one has a speech impediment, one is a cunt and one has shagged Lulu.  And that only leaves Gary Barlow.  Can't really say anything bad about him, as he has to endure the other four cunts and write everything for them. Respect, GB.  Fucking respect.
So, who did I see as soon as I got into the venue?  Only my friendly 'back massager', Madam Munchkin.   We have shared a lot together as practitioner and client.  I came out to her whilst she was pummelling my back.  My gaydar was going mad - off the fucking scale, always knew that she had 'venetian tendencies', and turns out that she had also suspected about my 'leanings'.  She was sitting with a gaggle of friends, and I knew immediately which one was her girl.  No make-up, short hair, regulation 'Berghaus' fleece walking shoes and ill-fitting jeans.  She caught my eye, and said 'hello'.  That was all.  I lost her when the main act took to the stage.  Also lost the will to live when the main act took to the stage.
And so to the aftermath - a long walk home with the masses.  Madam Verte had a great night - so great in fact that she had to take to her bed again today!  I, on the other hand, went to work, having slept like shite - so felt crap all day.  Thank God it was a relatively easy day.